The AG and Other Things

George Bush, in an attempt to validate his place as the worst POTUS ever, has appointed some horribly incompetent people to important positions. There was Rice,Rumsfeld,Cheney,Gonzales,Brown,and almost Meiers and Kerik. So,when a half a fool like Mukaskey is put up,and there is only a year to go,I guess Schumer thought,okay , I know this guy,and live in the comfort that I know him and he won't look the other way on illegalities.
What scared me is does he mean what civilized people think is illegal,or what George Bush,the sociopath,thinks is illegal?

No more illegal guns,show a sack and go after the NRA. How many mothers have to cry and tremble while they show a picture of their teenage son laid down by guns that got here illegally while the head of the NRA smiles at those on a watch list getting armed. Your right to own a gun is obviated by the right of that child to live.

If Bush isn't stupid,then why is everything going wrong? I mean everything.

If a Black kid hits another car and has reefer,Glenn Beck screams for justice. Brittney Spears does the same thing,and.......

STOP IT

Sam's Show is at Broadway Comedy Club
W.53rd btw. 8th and 9th
at 6:00 PM
December 2,2007 (A Sunday)
Ten bucks a head (plus a drink minimum)

Giuliani slurps up Pat Robertson...what won't he do,seriously,what act of selling out won't he perpetrate?

Of course impeach Cheney,what could go wrong? Just watching him snarl is a boost in the ratings, and with a writer's strike going on,this is reality TV like no other.

She killed her boss and then went to the funeral? That Stein woman sure aroused mixed emotions.

These are the Yankees, so merely making it to the playoffs is not enough return on their investment. That is why Torre is gone, and it is why A-Rod can split and no one weeps. Nice stats,but there was no delivery in the clutch,none. So take A-Rod,Inc. and lose somewhere else.

There are forty-seven million people with no health care coverage. If Hillary Clinton never left a tip again and half of these millions of people became insured,would that be okay,or would her enemies like to sidetrack you with some other unimportant crap? A tip was left,a generous one. And the waitress involved said it was no biggie,that there are other important issues. Listen to her.

NEWS!!!!!!

Positive talks with a station in the area,stay tuned,literally!

State Department finds Blackwater did no harm. Oh,so those are Swiss cheese holes in the Iraqi guards.

New Jerseyites gave the heave-ho to stem cell. One day when you are too sick to give the heave-ho,you'll regret this.

Ten years of solid ratings and popularity,and Curtis & Kuby get the heave-ho (today's word). Now stop wondering why they don't give hosts a farewell moment.

Oh,A-Rod,please leave town,please send that ego out west. If he signs with a crappy team,we will then know it has always been about the money.

MSNBC was right to give Rosie the heave-ho (ta da!!!!). Eventually,she would earn a huge fine. There is no governor, she says it and whatever the result is the result. Watch her daytime show,the guests barely got "hello" in. Rarely does a network take a talent,put them on the air,and build an audience with them. MSNBC did that with Olbermann,they should keep doing it.

Still Talking

The fine people in NJ want to know if I can muster advertisers. I have a great idea about advertisers, and if you are interested,let me know. The project is citizen advertisers,and it provides the listener a chance to participate. See you on Dec. 2 to explain more.

1)Hillary's lead eroding
2)Pelosi's leadership exploding
3)Pakistan crisis foreboding
4)Rosie to MSNBC unloading

So the Patriots' Belechick is a prick? How unusual for a football coach.
If Isiah Thomas was POTUS,he'd have been impeached.

Here is What is Happening

Here is the latest: There is a long thread in the NY Radio Message Board about hosts not being allowed to say goodbye,just abruptly being taken off the air.
Still talking to the fine people in New Jersey,I will keep you posted,literally....
Come see SAM AND FRIENDS at Broadway Comedy Club (318 W. 53rd between 8th and 9th).
on Sunday, December 2, at 6:00pm. Tickets are $10 and I believe a two drink minimum.....You will learn all about WWRL,and what else is going on in radio.....
I love this newspeak,"you weren't fired,the show was cancelled". If I didn't leave on my own,I was fired. If the show didn't stay on the air,that means they wanted someone to replace me,which means I was fired. No,I am not angry about being fired,I am simply amazed that this bull get circulated with no one laughing out loud.

More Good News

We are being audited! By phone next week,we are being audited. Just Barbara,me,and our accountant on a phone conference with Stephanie,the mysterious IRS agent.

Don't be hard on Bey & Riley,they didn't hire themselves. When you see my one man show,you will further grasp the working conditions at WWRL.

We don't torture? Then can I waterboard your Dad? You don't even KNOW what constitutes torture,your reply,is "It's in the Law books". You have no idea, typical for you,Georgie boy.

Mrs. Bush wears a headscarf in the Middle East,it is respectful. Pelosi does it,and O' Reilly gets more excited than when he has a loofah on his testicles while paying $3.95 a minute for a date with "Tiffany".

How many mediocre AGs can Bush give us before we realize that he is incompetent?

Rudy says that no one on the Dem side has used the phrase "Islamofascist",not one. How controlling can you be? Now he wants to tell people how to talk,what to say. I don't recall any GOP candidates saying "adulterer" or "bad father",yet there Rudy is.

Update

Well,the boss wanted a meeting at 9:00 AM,and I thought it was a "here's what you're doing wrong" meeting. Since I don't agree with the purpose of meetings, (to let people think you're actually busy) I said I couldn't make it. Then I was offered a meeting time of 3, and I said no, I have to pick Cassie up. So then we agreed on eleven on the phone. Eleven,twelve,one and two came and went. Finally, at 2:01,the phone rang,and Rennie said,let's have the meeting at two-thirty,it will only take five minutes. THAT'S when I knew I was going to be fired. For about ten seconds,my heart pounded and my head throbbed,and then it subsided,and I realized I was happy to be leaving. If they were firing me,they would be happy without me,and I sure as heck didn't want to be working in a place where that was true,so I was happy as well.
One day I will have a comedy club gig,and I will tell you what life was like at 'RL,so stay tuned.

And now.....

I was let go. At about 2:30 p.m. on Thursday the 25th. Effective immediately, the Sammy and Army show was terminated,cancelled,done for.
I will move on and soon be broadcasting again. This space is where you will go to find out all the facts about when and where. Soon you can write me here,listen here,advertise here. Stay tuned,and tell three people,just three. Your support means EVERYTHING to me.

Let it Go

Why did Rudy Giuliani take a call from his wife during a speech to the NRA? It was "hi honey,I'm making a speech now, I gotta go, I love you,too..." call. It was done to make Rudy look human. It was done so that he could show off his marriage. It was done to show the soft side of Giuliani. What better group to show your soft side to than the National Rifle Association?

It was not the first time he had done this. Interrupting a speech to take a phone call is rude. It lets the audience know that they are not first in his thoughts at the time he is speaking to them. IT WAS A STAGED, TRUMPED UP CALL, AND FOR ALL WE KNOW,IT WASN'T HIS WIFE...ANY OF THEM.

Giuliani said he takes the call because ever since 9/11,he needs to let his wife know he is safe. First of all,please stop saying 9/11,it is now so clear that you are using this tragedy to get elected. Second,call your wife BEFORE you make the speech,after you make the speech, not during the speech. Third, one day somebody is going to ask you to name three ways to tell us how you can stop terrorism when there were two terrorist attacks on the same building when you were "America's Mayor".

Eventually, Rudy's self aggrandizing will seat him on the couch watching the inauguration, not participating in it. Then we could look forward to his new book, "911 ways to stop being bitter"

Suddenly Silent

Bill O' Reilly yaks like an ignoramus about Black people,and Al Sharpton is virtually silent, muttering something about the remark being out of line. What part of this modern world has fallen off that we don't view what O' Reilly said to be racist? If you think racism is the oppression of once group over the other,then he is at least a bigot, or ignorant, or smart enough to keep his name in the press.
Imus slammed young women and was fired. D.J Hughley slammed the same group of women,but no one cared. Sharpton was there to lift a metaphorical leg on Imus' ashes, but went all shy about Hughley's remarks.
If you are amazed that Black people behave themselves in public and dressed well,then you have a preconceived notion about Black people that is narrow minded. We all realize, I presume, that this should be a given.

Not So Rosie Outlook

The clock is ticking on O'Donnell. The more she screams, the more people move away from the strident wailing. She blasts everybody, she shows no love for anyone who resuscitated her career, she is one angry woman. No, the Rosie we saw on daytime TV a few years ago was a sham,how many photos of her looking like she is on her way to a primal scream festival before we know she is only here to provoke and aggravate.

One other thing: if someone molested you, grow a sack and tell us who it is. You're real mouthy when it helps you,but let the world know who hurt you, and suddenly,no soap. Help the world, and go away quietly.

Al News Al the Time

Al Sharpton delivered a list of musts that Imus should perform before he is accepted back with totally open arms. Let's take a look:

1)Imus should settle a lawsuit filed by Rutgers player Kia Vaughn,who accepted Imus' apology and did not sue until his $20 million settlement with CBS was publicized. How about if Imus fights it because he disagrees with Al,is that okay?
2)Al wants Imus to declare that he understands what he did was wrong. If Imus delivers one more mea culpa, I will throw up. He was fired,he was apologetic,we get it.....
3)Al wants Imus to refrain from attacking innocent people. Al attacked an innocent white store owner, an attack that may have led to a fire that killed people. Imus didn't kill anyone.
4)Al wants Imus to have a member of a Black professional organization verbally spar with Imus once a week. Can someone do that with you on your show Al,since you are backing City Councilman Charles Barron, a man who said that if he were elected Brooklyn Borough President, he would look out for African Americans first? Can you imagine Al's outrage if a white candidate said that about his ethnicity? I know you can.
5)Al waits until the penultimate paragraph to decry gangsta rap. Has more Black on Black violence stemmed from rap or Imus? Just asking.

Monday,August 13th 2007

Karl Rove resigns. OK, Bush effectively has one year left, unless he snaps and tries to go "All Dictator All the Time". If Rove leaves, it is lame duck in the truest sense of the words. If the guy who is known as "Bush's Brain" is leaving, that leaves Bush without a brain. Assuming he has had a brain for the last six years, that means that all his decisions will now be brainless. Kudos to those who can tell the difference.

Karl is leaving to spend more time with his family. That is what he said, more time with his family. For the last six years, you spent no time with them,is that what you mean? You ran out of people who hate you,so your job is done?There is no one else you can effectively damage? There are no more wealthy people to make wealthier? I wasn't old enough to really remember McCarthy, but the fear and pessimism created by Bush and his henchmen must evoke memories of that time for those who are.

As much as this adminstration is horrible when they are trying to succeed,what will it be like when they are coasting? Wow!!!

Thinking....

Harriet Meiers has no immunity,she doesn't work for the government anymore. Harriet,George would not go to the mat for you,don't do it for him.Karen Hughes was supposed to mediate between Arab groups. Has she even renewed her passport?

And how is Mrs. Bush's work with the Bloods and Crips in South Central L.A. working out?

Charles Dickens called, Mr. Cheney,he wants YOU to replace Scrooge as the face of evil and greed.

How many children have to lose their parents before this war is over?

Nixon bad mouths Jews and Blacks...no!!!!!!! Really?

Jeter isn't Black? Thanks for your know nothing opinions, Gary.

Harriet Meiers doesn't work for the US anymore,no immunity...cuff her!!!!

It's 2007,and the Washington NFL team is STILL called the Redskins.

Michael Wilbon says that people love watching NFLers playing injured. Do they like watching their bodies fall apart after they are retired?

Hey Rudy! We get it! You walked around with a surgical mask,whoopee!!!!!

R.I.P Lady Bird.

Just Wondering

I am sitting here at 6:06 AM wondering:

How can the NY Post say Paris Hilton gets too much ink and put her on page three ahead of Lady Bird's death?

At what point will Rosie O' Donnell say something so mean,so vile, and so unrepentant tht she loses even the faithful?

Will the White House circle the grounds with troops to prevent handing over damaging documents?

Would you stay at a restaurant if you heard the host announce: "Table for Bin Laden,table for Bin Laden"?

Why does it take so much courage to stand up to the NRA? Don't people on the Hill know that if you stand up to a bully,they back down (assuming the bully isn't armed)?

If a Senator visits a brothel and just wants to talk,he is wasting taxpayers money. For $3.95 a minute,there are many women who will gladly chat with you.

If A-Rod's wife sat in my stadium with an obscenity on her shirt,she would be asked to either change shirts or leave,and if he didn't like it,he could leave.

Little Kim turned thirty-two yesterday...acts like it,huh?

PacMan Jones gets pulled over in a car with license plates that don't match the car...OK,I give up,he is stupid.

Donald Trump's fat jokes about O'Donnell would be funnier if he A)didn't always trash women almost exclusively and B)weren't fat himself.

Is it me,or does Michael Chertoff look like the crypt keeper?

My friend Dave is a realty lawyer,can HE be attorney general too?

Some Thoughts

I am thrilled the world sees the Rosie O' Donnell I know: a furiously angry self-hating woman who demands total attention and is a bully with a little bit of talent and a lot of drive.

Bob Shrum better make a lot of money with his book that rats out former clients, because he wont work on a city council election after it comes out.

The Democrats don't lack balls,they lack votes,they are not veto proof, and for Bush to strut like he won something is pathetic.

Alberto Gonzales is not qualified to close on your house let alone decide real points of law.

Clarence Thomas is the only justice to not ask questions for this long a period EVER,and we're supposed to think he's smart.

"Lost" Rocks!!!!!

If Rudy were a rooster, he would take credit for the sunrise. Unless it rained,then he would blame Al Roker.

If you are dumber than Jason Giambi,wait for someone to tell you when to cross the street since colors may confuse you.

When a guy making fifteen million a year pitches badly, I have trouble working up tears.

What happens if Roger Clemens throws a pitch,clutches his side and limps off the mound?

Happy Memorial Day!!!!!

A Few Thoughts

Of course Gonzales is a moron,who hired him, Lincoln? Before this gig,his only task was to slide death warrants under Bush's then preoccupied nose to convince all those cowboys in Texas that he could be a real man like his Daddy. It takes a real man to murder minorities deprived of competent counsel. Bush has been so wrong so often, if he were a bookie, he would be taking the Royals to win the World Series.

Yes, Alec Baldwin sucks for yelling at his child, but his ex-wife REALLY sucks for making it public. I would never expose a child to that sort of public display.

If Imus stays fired and Michael Savage and Glenn Beck go unscathed, it will be a shame.

Now,right now is the time for the liberals to get a sack and go after the N.R.A.

Melanie Morgan is the worst talk show host in America, a racially bigoted know nothing bottle hair colored loser. I think she's married to Jack Swanson, a big deal PD in SF,otherwise she would be doing the traffic in Sioux Falls.

John McCain is not qualified to be president, or senator, or congressman. He was elected because he was a POW. He is a camera hungry gadfly who has neither the integrity or brains to run the country. If Bush said about my wife what he said about mine, there would be no embrace. I would tell Dobson to kiss my ass and smack Rove in his pudgy visage. Too much whore,not enough john.

Any woman who would shag Paul Wolfowitz deserves a raise.

Hey,George, if Israel can meet with Hamas,you have no excuse for Condi not meeting openly with Iran unless she is a gross incompetent. Oh!!!

My View of the View

I watched the View for a few minutes, and I'd like to congratulate Rosie O' Donnell for not talking for the entire time the show is not advertising a product. In fact, I'd like to say kudos to Rosie for not also doing the spots, the intro, the warm-up, and the seating. I know how hard she is driving a metaphorical nail in her hand to stop her id from mauling her ego.

One of the poor saps on the show brings up a show and Rosie makes it hers like stealing a loaf of bread from their arms. For all Rosie knows, she brought up the topic,so self-involved is she. It obviously has paid off, but man, she is one all about me person.

I never though I'd say this,but that show misses Star Jones. Star Jones would not have let Joy Behar get away with saying that Imus should not be fired, "it's not like he's Charles Manson".

Wrong!!!! Compare Imus to Stern or Mancow, but not a mass killer, Manson should be compared to Richard Speck, not Don Imus. What Imus said is a big deal, and Star would have articulated that.
The show needs a Black voice. And if they think that Rosie is a suitable fill-in,they are wrong.

What They Do, What They Say

I was watching a segment of "MacLaughlin", and it hit me that except for the host,I have interviewed all of the pundits I was watching today. Yeah!!!!
They were discussing Imus, and Tony Blankley of the Washington Times said Imus' firing sends a chilling message throughout electronic media. Yeah, the message is stop talking like you're at the nineteenth hole in a segregated golf club. It's the public you're broadcasting to, and although your Black demographic is less of a percentage than the number that vote Republican, the nation, as a whole, is turning brown. There are less of us (especially in the Gen Xers and younger) who care about race. It is telling that the whole Rutgers team, white and black, felt the sting of Imus' slurs.

What I find chilling is that Howard Kurtz, the Uriah Heep of Beltway print, revealed that what Imus said on the air about different ethnic groups is said by pundits behind closed doors all the time. Great! Imus gets the sack and print princes get yuks from their "Diceman" sendups.

Do you think that if there were more Black people in punditville, these opiners would find it less convenient to vent their Klan vibe?

So kids, here is the lessons we have learned.
1)Helping sick kids doesn't let you off the hook for racism.
2)If you fired someone for vile remarks, having him back on isn't smart.
3)Try having other Black people on besdies religious zealots.
4)Calling Hillary Clinton a fat pig doesn't let you off the hook when you reinvite the person (Jay Severin) who said it.
5)They were academically gifted, athletically blessed college kids who were denigrated. Now people who have daughters who look like those young ladies have a voice that is heard. Next time, listen to that voice.

No Standards, No Peace

If my program director comes into the control room, and says a change or tweak is needed here or there, I try it, he only has the best intentions for the good of the show.
If a program director strides into Imus's studio with an idea, there is a good chance he might be told to get the hell out. No one tells Imus what to do. He brings millions of dollars to WFAN, and has been doing so for years, so if he decided to cross the race or sexual line, or if one of his minions said something vile, Imus would register disdain, and then repeat the behavior.
I tape the Imus show on MSNBC, and watch it when I come home. He is a great interviewer and gets big names. However, things come out of mouths on that show that make me wince. There is no reason to call Hillary Clinton a fat pig. There is no reason to call Serena Williams an animal. There is no reason to use the word jigaboo unless you make it plain what the source is, and in what context it is referenced.
So when Imus filled the air with his "nappy hos" crack,. it turned his world upside down. He has lost respect, he has lost days on the air, and he talks and acts like a broken man who doesn't quite get it. Saying that a lot of Black people listen to your show is another version of "some of my best friends...".
Having said all that, I do not think he should be suspended. It is a meaningless exercise. Either fire him or don't, suspension is wussy. Besides, from what I saw today, Imus appears broken, defeated, the show is dull and repetitive, and none of his sidekicks utters a word, since these middle aged communicators evidently can't speak without screwing up.
And by the way, how the hell did Reverends Jackson and Sharpton make their way to the moral high ground on this topic?
This is the same Al Sharpton who slandered Steve Pagones, perpetrated the Tawana Brawley fiasco, and referred to a store owner as a "white interloper", and is allowed to speak at the Democratic Convention. Yes, people can change,and he has,but his living in the now of racial politics is unfair. No one should have the breadth and depth of their life judged on a snapshot, or even a series of snapshots, and that goes for Imus.
Reverend Jackson has got to stop showing up at every party, or people will think he is freeloading. He is so used to speaking in vague platitudes, that I bet if you stopped in mid speech, he could not recall the last sentence he spoke.
Fire him, don't fire him, but if you want to be fair, fine him like you fined CBS over Janet Jackson affair, now that's justice and peace.

Why McCain?

Why does John McCain deserve to be president? Has he shown wisdom? Has he shown shrewdness? Has he shown the ability to lead? The answer to these four questions is: He hasn't, no, no, and no.

What McCain has shown is the knack for getting his face in front of a camera. Over the last decade, McCain has been the go to guy for a quote on anything from war to online gambling. He portrayed himself as a maverick, a true conservative who differed from fundamentalists on social issues. It all sounds good, but it is not who John McCain is, and now that we know little more about who he is, we don't like what we see and hear.

We see and hear a politician who will do and say anything to each his goal. He will backtrack on his positions, he will embrace people whom he earlier condemned, he will forgive people who smeared his wife, child and his military record, and he will allow himself to be caught in a lie, an embarrassing lie.

He would run with Kerry...oops,no...he won't. He blasts Jerry Falwell as a message of intolerance, then speaks at Falwell's Liberty College. He says abortion is a personal issue, then he says he would sign a bill that prevents a woman from terminating a pregnancy caused by the rape by a relative. He will lose a candidacy because of attacks on his family and career from Karl Rove, then embrace the president who allowed these smears to occur.

His latest gaffe may be the worst. McCain appeared on television to tell us that walking outside of the Green Zone is safe, but doesn't tell us he is escorted by damn near a division with Black Hawk helicopters. Where wouldn't you go with that group behind you?

McCain can't get out of this one,can he? He can't expect to be elected because he was in a POW cell,can he?
It's over.

Rat Family, Lifeboat for Three

Here's how I know that George Bush misses Andy Card: he's behind the news curve. Andy Card had the toughest job of all, making George Bush look like he knew what was happening. Andy would have never let Bush rap Nancy Pelosi about her visit to Syria four days after the story broke. He also would have told him that if he did knock her, he would look like an ass because three GOP Congressman not only visited Damascus at the same time, but had an audience with Assad as well. At a time when everyone wants us to negotiate with anyone who will listen, Bush is still a little cowboy on a quarter per ride dime store horse.
James Carville,asked to comment on the Republicans who impeached Clinton, replied that history will hunt them down. While history is at it, it should also bag Cheney, especially given his hunting record.

Why Do I Know More Than You?

So I'm supposed to applaud Matthew Dowd because he realized that George Bush was incompetent, stubborn, willful, and bullying? I'm supposed to applaud because Dowd, who changed parties and moved across the country for George Bush now knows he was used like a drunken starlet in a rapper filled VIP lounge? The New York Times gave Dowd a lot of space to tell us he fucked up. Well, you don't get a single point from me, Dowdy (is that what Bush called you when he forgot your first name?). When he said Christ was a political philosopher, when he said "fuzzy math", when he froze like a popsicle on 9/11, when he sat like an idiot at a Mensa meeting during the Katrina briefing, when he thought knowing Harriet Meiers heart was enough to make her a Supreme Court Justice, when he wouldn't fire that emissary from hell Donald Rumsfeld.
In spite of the loss of life and esteem, when he did all of these things, I knew Bush was a loser, so please excuse me if I don't crap myself because Dowd came this late to this disastrously catered party.

I want one moron who rapped Pelosi for going to Syria to now say he or she knew that three Republicans went to Syria AND met with Assad two days before Pelosi landed in Damascus, and that they lied, and that getting reliable info on a Democrat from Drudge is like getting reliable insulin from a faucet.

Dear Rosie: On behalf of anybody who lost a loved one on 9/11:
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! Their pain is not worth your ego.

Remember all those Democrats the White House dissed over the last six years? How does crow taste between two slices of bread, George?

HOW COME....?

Nobody on the right tells James Dobson to screw off?

I'm the only one who thinks Joe Lieberman is a self serving wreck of a senator?

Russert didn't mention that Tom Delay is under indictment when he appeared on "Meet the Press"?

Good comics bomb at D.C. political events and crappy ones kill?

Alan Colmes hasn't hit anyone at Fox with a chair?

Ollie North gets on the air?

Nobody in the GOP realizes Bush isn't a conservative?

Hillary Clinton exerts some influence on her husband,she is an emasculating bitch, but Giuliani wants his wife sitting in on cabinet meetings,and love is in the air?

Chris Matthews can talk like he's insane and it makes him a pundit?

Bush doesn't know it's over?

No one will give us an update on Mrs. Bush's work with the Crips and Bloods in Los Angeles?

How about an update on Karen Hughes peacekeeping efforts in the Middle East?

The devil hasn't collected yet on his debt with Dick Cheney?

Rosie O' Donnell hasn't looked at Roseanne for how a successful middle aged television icon should behave?

Take One For The Team---Nah!!!!

Remember Alberto Gonzales last year, and the year before that? Remember how cocky he was? How defiant, how condescending, how---well,frankly---snotty?
This is the man who scoffed at the convention of Geneva. This is the man who told Congress (a Republican Congress at that) to send up the issues they wanted to discuss,and the White House would let them know which ones they wanted to discuss with you. This is the man who prepared the clemency decisions for one hundred and fifty nine death row appellants in Texas, a state that screws poor defendants unlike anything since a debtors prison. How many poor people of color had their last wisp of hope stepped on by an ass kissing flunky whizzing the papers past the Governor?
Gonzales became so accustomed to lying that when he said he could barely spell U.S. Attorney, let alone fire one, his most recently fired aide said "not so fast,Papi". He knew of them, he was briefed on them, and he signed off of them. Now, in my world, that deal where you lie to Congress while under oath is perjury. That's why Bush doesn't want Rove testifying under oath in public. On the other hand, why worry? Do you think Rove wouldn't lie to save his own ass? He'll start babbling that he just escaped kidnappers who had replaced him with his evil twin. Could an evil man dance like I did last night, he queried? Got ya! Only an evil man would bring that moment up, damn you Karl!

Yeah,She's Fat

The other day Glenn Beck and the guy on his show who wishes he was Glenn Beck spent some time broadcasting the fact that Rosie O' Donnell is fat.
Glenn, (and Glen jr.) we know she's fat. She knows she's fat. If he's hugged her, Stevie Wonder knows she's fat.
What of it? Glenn, you look fat too. I think there's probably a tire around the belt rim. Newt Gingrich is fat, and how he attracts a mate above the specie of one cell amazes me.
Rush Limbaugh is fat. Michael Savage is fat. When Savage called Diane Sawyer a "whore", you didn't mention that quote or Savage's girth. When Limbaugh abased Michael J. Fox, you didn't mention the spew came from a man whose pounds are only surpassed by his racism.
Rosie is loud, pushy, overbearing, and occasionally mean, and some of that may be related to her self image. Whatever the reason, her diatribe didn't make fun of a man and the disease which is killing him. Whatever the reason, she was not cheating on her spouse while castigating another person for the same misdeed. Whatever the reason, she is a not a single male living in the gayest city in North America while feeling repulsed by gay people (maybe Savage is looking a little Haggard, if you know what I mean).
By the way, Elizabeth Hasselbeck is almost thirty, and if she can't take criticism without crying, she should quit. I cannot begin to tell you what c you could say to me for what she's getting paid. Grow up.

Talking Radio: Dennis Miller's Underwhelming Station Lineup

Talking Radio: Dennis Miller's Underwhelming Station Lineup

No Newt is Good Newt

Let me be plain spoken. Newt Gingrich is a complete load of crap.

1)He negotiated a divorce while his wife was receiving chemotherapy.

2)He negotiated a divorce while his next wife suffered from MS.

3)He was castigating Bill Clinton's personal behavior while he was sleeping with his intern, whom he later married, a woman young enough to be his daughter.

4)He attacked Jim Wright for financial improprieties and then got millions to publish his book.

5)He confessed his adultery to James Dobson, and rationalized it as the behavior of a "fallen Christian".

Newt, you are a nineties figure, out of touch, out of date, and hopefully out of time.

If he and Bill Bennett had an act, it could nourish the crops worldwide.

Rosie,Rosie,Rosie

I knew it was over for Rosie's castmates on "TheView" when someone besides O' Donnell started to speak and Rose reprimanded her by saying "the mother hen is speaking".
If you look at Rosie's face, her mouth is smiling, here eyes are not--never are.
If you made your co-host cry, wouldn't you change your behavior, do you HAVE to keep behaving in a manner that makes that person cry,is there no other way to conduct a dialogue?
Now Rosie is spouting off about 9/11 theories. She is becoming Lenny Bruce, howling in the wind with no criticism, because control freaks cannot brook criticism.
Do you think Rosie could conduct a civil interview with Ann Coulter? Granted, Coulter is a beast, but could Rosie allow some self control?

Spineless

Isn't it amazing that Bush is so terrible a leader that I long for Nixon?
He is as close to mentally unstable as I have seen in this office.
Entitled mediocrity, the Bush family, beneficiaries of family fortunes culled from the horror of the Nazi war world.
Cheney, whom history will hunt down and slay.Cheney, who needed a war to offset his record at Halliburton of being the Great Bankrupter.
Cheney, who got every moment of this war wrong.
Cheney, who moved the earth to avoid not just Vietnam, but military service altogether.
So did I, but I don't have the blood and arms and legs of thousands of Americans on my hands.
By the way, how's Mrs. Bush's work with the gangs of South Central panning out? I ask because I have yet to see a photo op of her with a Blood or a Crip.
While I'm at it, how's Karen Hughes working out in the Middle East? There's nothing Arabs like more than a tall blonde woman from Texas in a pantsuit.
Mrs. Bush, the Joker called, he wants his smile back.
I haven't heard from Bush's mother in a while. I guess she bagged her limit on vile bitchy old lady spewings.
Who WON'T John McCain kiss up to?
Is the definition of insanity repeating the same behavior in hope of getting a different result? So, if you think you're always right, you're insane, right? So,uh,Rush,Levin,Sean,y' know? At least Sean was polite to Cindy Sheehan,impressively so.
If Diane Sawyer's husband punched Michael Savage in the mouth for calling his wife a whore, would he sue him under his real name,Mickey Weiner?

Tony Dungy's Beliefs

Everybody loves Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy. He seems to be a quiet, intelligent, thoughtful family man. Last year, when his son committed suicide, the world ached for him. This year, his team won the Super Bowl, and a part of Tony we hadn't seen so much of came out: the ultra religious side.
Before his teams became so good, I don't remember him invoking his belief system with so much regularity. It makes me nervous to see this, because if the Lord is guiding the NFL, then the Lord loves HGH.
Now Tony is receiving a reward from the Indiana Family Institute, a group that has honored Ken Starr and thinks that gays should not have families. That's what these bigots mean when they say Dungy is pro-family. It means he is against gay marriage. In fact, if gays didn't want to get married the IFI wouldn't exist,because they would have no cause for which to suck money out of a member's wallet.
I wish Dungy all the best, and I hope his pain from such a loss heals completely. I also hopes he keeps his personal opinions about a segment of society that has never done anything to him or his to himself. He may not know it, but every time he speaks out on gay marriage, he feeds a fire that fools have stoked. Besides, how does a man who oversees muscular young men who shower together a hundred times a year get uptight about homosexuals?

Different Thoughts

"Support the Troops" means all the time,not just when you're smearing liberals. Of course, it would have more meaning if some of YOU had served.

If Mike Barnicle is a truth teller, why did he have to steal from other writers; dead writers?

If Newt Gingrich were anymore transparent, he would have to bathe with Windex. He failed "God's standards" long before he shagged his intern. I think negotiating a divorce with someone holding a chemo IV in their arm meets the standard of GOP moral hypocrisy.

How's leading that peace settlement with the Blood and Crips working out for Laura Bush? Maybe they heard her say there was only "one bombing a day" in Iraq and figured out that she needed help more than any South Central teenager.

How does an obese, chain smoking gambling addicted racist like Bill Bennett get to spout "do's and don'ts" to everyone else? It's like getting nutrition tips from Dom DeLuise.

If Barack Obama does not have enough experience to be president, how does Bush obtain work above production assistant on access cable?

How's that Middle East peace mission working out for Karen Hughes, the Judge Crater of the Bush administration?

Remember when faggot meant a pile of sticks? If you do, then you're three hundred years old.

What happened to Dennis Miller? We all have to make a living, but wow!
I know the check clears, but sitting next to O'Reilly as validation is not worth it. I knew you when you had a soul, get it back.

Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert are the best pundits on television, and we are freer for their presence.

Remember the fat four-eyed Nazi whose hand burned open at the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark"? Now think of Karl Rove. Huh? Huh?

Happy birthday, Cassie...you are the best kid we could have ever wished for.

We Don't Care

Rosie O' Donnell went through a bout of depression after the Columbine shootings. She stayed inside, cried a lot, and din't go out, doing all of us outside a huge favor.

Thanks to antidepressants and yoga, Rosie is better. That's right, the screaming argument-picking loudmouth is happy with herself the way she is now, can you imagine how messed up she was before the medication?

Now she says that by swinging upside down from a chair,she relaxes. I'm no slender reed, but if I weighed what Rosie weighed, I wouldn't test the holding power of a device when I swung back and forth like a wild pendulum.

Hey,Look at Me!!!!!

What do you do to gain attention when you are not worth listening to? What do you to be listened to if what you say pleases none but the politically vile? Don't ask me, ask Ann Coulter. What she won't say has yet to be determined,because thus far nothing is out of bounds for the extremist spinster.

She used the word "faggot" as worthy of appellation for John Edwards, and conservatives who have tried hard to discriminate legally against gays expressed fury and dismay. That is a faulty ploy.

Ignore her, that is the plan. When she says something that causes outrage, respond by saying you hadn't heard it and don't care to. Her light of hatred grows dim if no one sees it.

A child of a gated community whose father busted unions of third world miners may not be able to judge others fairly and honestly. A woman who has never married or has ever had children may not be able to understand the family values she espouses.

Eventually,she will just be a crazy old lady who will finally tick off so many people that everyone stops listening. Bill Maher has dropped her, the Today Show dropped her,she only has her own website to express her written views. Hell, I have a website, read mine, not hers.

Successful Failures

There are many right wing radio hosts who are rich from their performances on the air. They are steadfast in their opinions to the point of boredom. They are critical of those who disagree with them to the point of McCarthyism. They coddle their right wing callers, trash their left wing callers, and say the same thing over and over and over. I cannot believe people listen daily, not because of the stand,but because of the monotony. How can the audience not be weary of name calling such as "Chucky Schmucky Schumer", "Hillary Rotten Clinton", and "Drive by Media"? How can someone work for the ABC Radio Network and say they are not in the mainstream media? It isn't as if they are broadcasting from a dinghy on the Hudson.

The most amazing facet of these men and women is that they operate as if they had no faults of their own. Limbaugh's three failed marriages don't stop him from castigating other's failed betrothals. Hannity's lack of military service will not halt his efforts to fight wars in which he is not at risk. Ingraham's attack on left wing entertainers speaking against the war does not stop her from being silent on the musings of Charlie Daniels, Toby Keith, and Clint Black, hawkish country singers who collectively never served ten seconds in conflict, but are pro war.

If you think thing that our disagreement over public policy makes me a traitor, then you are either a fraud or a liar. Your poking the listener dog with your verbal stick is nauseating. O'Reilly calling someone a bad American because they oppose the war is amusing. I thought a middle aged man wooing a subordinate with sexual musings was bad citizenship,Bill. I thought bullying a housekeeper into scoring illegal meds was bad citizenship, Rush. I thought ratting out closeted gay teens to their parents was bad citizenship, Laura (considering that you are the sister of a gay man and are an unmarried middle aged woman with no man in sight).

The radio right also enjoys broad brush strokes If someone on the left does something foolish, Limbaugh will say, "See? That's what liberals do!" I'll make Limbaugh a deal: Don't blame me for Tim Robbins, and I won't blame you for Tim McVeigh.

It would be easier to counter this if many liberal hosts didn't spend every moment on the air trashing George Bush. I get it, he sucks, now move on to another topic. My next posting will discuss how badly Air America started out,and why there is hope for it now. Clue: they're hiring radio people.

Senator, Not Queen

Does the press ever have it in for Hillary Clinton. David Geffen unloads on her because her husband didn't pardon his friend. He stays at the White House so he can brag to his friends about the percale and then calls the Clintons liars. Bitchy, very bitchy.
They say she is humorless, she is stiff, she is rehearsed. We are going to be dumping a president soon who liked to laugh and seemed real loosey goosey,how did he work out for the country?
She is a really smart public servant, and every day I see men talk about her like she's the smart girl in school, with a combination of jealousy and vitriol.
Senator Obama is a marvelous force in politics, but I have no idea if he can come up with solutions, all he has done so far is tell me that others have made mistakes. I already knew that.
I think all this helps Senator Edwards. He just lays in the cut and lets them slug it out. The greater damage is done to the party. The candidates are so hungry to take the place of the incompetent dry drunk who occupies the Oval Office now, that they are showing their immaturity and impatience.
By the way, Maureen Dowd has given up all parts of the high ground after the proboscis burial she performed in Joe Biden's tush.

IMHO

If 58% of Americans want the war to end, who is the GOP speaking for when they vote against the non binding resolution?

Attention Fox News: The Daily Show makes fun of both sides, your new political satire show only trashes the left. That is not satire,that is an extension of your regular programming.

By the way, Fox News: If Ann Coulter was any stiffer in your ad for this show, she could have been stored in a pool cue case.

Rush delivered his lines well, but I can tell that personal chef cooking health foods for him must have received his walking papers.

Three marriages, lived with gay guys, and pro affirmative action is just part of the reason the GOP cannot nominate Giuliani.

The religious right is ticked off at McCain. These people are awfully strict until they get caught with drugs and a male of a non discreet nature.

The mothers of two of Jason Kidd's out of wedlock children say he is a good father. Who needs to write comedy?

Try this, Senator Clinton: "I made a mistake by believing the lies perpetrated by President Bush". You get the "m" word out there and beat up on W at the same time, a win-win.

If left wing celebrities support a third party candidate, please don't insult us by saying the votes that person drew away from the Democratic candidate didn't matter. That is a lie worthy of an NRA spokesperson.

If Levin and Savage are Jews, how come they act like they're not?

Monica Crowley, Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, all conservative mouthpieces, all blonde, all never married, no children. Hmmmm....How consistent.

The more I listen to Barbara Bush, the more I realize from where W gets his mean streak, and it isn't from George (The Feckless) XLI. Insensitive, elitist, and intellectually limited, it passes from mother to son. In this family, XLI is like Joseph in the Bible, an interesting adjunct, but not essential to the main plot line.

Why is it President's Day? Are we supposed to celebrate Franklin Pierce, (who,by the way is a third generation uncle of Barbara Bush) an ineffectual racist? Hooray for Warren G. Harding, a man so inept he makes W look intellectually curious! Limit it to five CIC or so, and let's not pretend we want to sit around the campfire and thrill to how Polk stole Texas from Mexico.

If a welfare mother runs afoul of the law, the right screams for sterilization. Brintey Spears is throwing up in limos and we ignore. I think K-Fed may win custody, and what does that say about this redneck Mouseketeer?

Crook Schmook,Big Dif

So the other night I am listening to Sean Hannity interview Rudy Giuliani, and until this moment I could not put my finger on what it is about Rudy that bothers me. Then he started talking about the Supreme Court. He went on to say that over the past decades, the court has "expanded the rights of criminals". WHOA!!! You mean the accused, don't you Mr. Mayor? You DO know that people are innocent until proven guilty, don't you, Rudy? Then it all came back: he doesn't want to be the president, he wants to be king. He tried to be king of New York, but we wouldn't let him rule for another ninety days. Who else but an egomaniac would let his wife write a piece in the Post about what a he man he is unless he was really needing to be told he is the king? Pro-choice? Sure, but he'll appoint judges who will shove women back into alleys. What a self-serving mean spirited creep. Oh, Rudy! Have you come out of the command center yet?

The Nerve!!!!

Poor Mary Matalin, she is swimming upstream with both hands tied behind her back. She feels compelled to defend the Bushies over this war, and her defense has taken strident measures.
The other day, Matalin knocked Chris Matthews for speaking out on a position opposite hers. She essentially said that he doesn't have the right to speak out in such a partisan manner on the air.
Let me get this right: Chris Matthews cannot speak out on issues on the Chris Matthews show. Hannity can on his show, O'Reilly can on his show, Limbaugh can on his show, but not Chris Matthews on his show. If that idea made less sense, Bush would have said it.
Then we have John McCain, senator,war hero, presidential candidate, and media fave. Reporters were elbowing each other out of the way to get a seat on McCain's "Straight Talk Express" campaign bus in 2000, and he loved the attention. When I worked at "America's Talking", and we couldn't get a guest or if a guest cancelled, we could almost always get McCain, the guy would show up for a toothpaste tube opening.
Now he is angry. He is mad because John Solomon of the Washington Post reported that McCain has embraced soft money,that end around method of getting contributions from large donors, a position that he had previously condemned. He called this article the worst cheap shot he had ever endured.
Really? Worse than the Bush campaign saying his wife was a drug addict? Worse than saying he illegally adopted a child? Worse than Karl Rove spreading the idea McCain ratted out his fellow POWS? Does anyone believe that? Hands? Anyone?
This is the same McCain who slammed Jerry Falwell,and then spoke at Falwell's Liberty college, proving that anybody can embrace anyone.
As he slides off of the presdiential bandwagon, McCain can look to one place for his demise: the mirror.

August 2006

August 27th, 2006
Katherine Harris, Synagogue Siren
Katherine Harris was making a speech before a crowd that identifies themselves by their religion. She told them that if they didn’t elect Christians, the world of abortion and gay marriage was going to swallow them alive.
Here is why Katherine Harris should be sat down and innoculated to prevent her disease from spreading. One, she is woefully late to the party. The majority of Americans are pro-choice, and gays get married all the time. These are battles she is either losing or has lost.
Two, her speech reinforces my suspicions about the Jew hating element of evangelical Christianity. You cannot think I am going to hell and then tell me you love me.
Imagine the spiritual volcanic ash spewing from Mt. Falwell if a candidate made a speech saying if you don’t elect Blacks, hell is assured.
Imagine the sweatry natterings of eternal spinster Ann Coulter if a candidate said if you don’t elect Christians, hell will be on this earth.
Only a group of loons would hold off of slamming Harris for her bigotry, and the GOP did react with disapproval. There is, however, a larger question. Why is this woman, this woman who is tons of points behind in her senate quest, the best the GOP could do in a red state?
Of course, the GOP owed her for rigging the 2000 election for Bush, (and gee,hasn’t that turned out great for the US of A) and they did stand behind her for the House race.
The Senate is not the House. In the House, you can be a little nuts or really crooked,and folks let it go if the sewers are working. The United States Senate is just a hundred people, and there are only two per state. This means if you’re an accused crook (like Conrad Burns) or an actual racist (like George Allen) it stands out.
Harris’ behavior would be noticeable immediately, and if there is one thing the GOP does not need, it is more appearances of intolerance and religious extremism.
August 26th, 2006
Ray Nagin, Fool
I do not blame Ray Nagin for the disaster of Katrina. He is not the head of FEMA,or Homeland Security. He is the incompetent mayor of a corrupt city in a state so steeped in racism that a Klansman took about half the vote in major party primary a few years ago.
What he is, though, is irresponsible, in deed and word,popping off thoughts like a heavy drinker at closing time.

When Nagin makes stupid remarks about the World Trade Center and New York in general, he forgets a few things. First, few places have donated more to the disaster in New Orleans than NYC. Second,three thousand people died in the “hole in the ground”, and his lack of sensitivity is astounding.
As long as New Orleans was a place where tourists went to throw up and dance,and girls went to flash their boobs for a video tape vendor,all was well.
However, the combination of no preparation, added to the monumental stupidity and inefficiency of George Bush, and suddenly, the adorable idiosyncratic remarks come out moronic.
Here is a thought. Stop your bitching, and lift a sandbag so that more “chocolate” children do not die.
August 21st, 2006
Dick
If you shoot a friend in the face and he apologizes to you, you are one mean piece of testosterone. Of course,this toughness is co-opted by his five draft deferments and the fact that the birds he was hunting were so old that one had to stomp on the ground to get them to fly so you could shoot them, sort of an avian “Fight Club”.
August 21st, 2006
No He’s Not
What the world has come to realize is what many of us have known for some time: Georeg Bush is not a conservative. He has never been a conservative. His views on some subjects jibe with some religious conservatives, but if by conservative you mean a small government person who minds his own bedroom business. George Bush is a religious radical fundamentalist. Those are hard words to grasp when speaking of a president. He entrusts everything to a higher being. He believes he was put on earth to be president. When someone believes that, you know David Letterman was right when he said “You shouldn;t run for president because you have a needy ego”.

October 2006

October 30th, 2006
I was just thinking…
McCain the Whore
What won’t John McCain do to get elected? What amount of dirt won’t he eat to spit it out in the White House bathroom? If someone called your spouse a drug addict, if someone intimated your adopted child was kidnapped, if someone said you betrayed your fellow POWs, would you embrace them to get elected? Then you are a whore.
I knew about McCain’s whoredom when I worked on America’s Talking, the forerunner to MSNBC. If we could not get an interviewee, if no one else was available, we could always nab McCain. On five minutes notice, he would slap on some pancake and sit in a studio for a five minute talk about anything. In the ensuing years, he has taken sides on everything from abortion to online betting. If he didn’t have an opinion, he’d invent one.
Message to Barbara and Laura: Shut up!!!
George’s wife was a librarian, so her skill lies in devolving the Dewey Decimal System. Her knowledge of stem cell research, the Iraq war, and anything else her husband has screwed up is negligible. The GOP points to out how popular she is. Who cares? Her job is to smile and not let people know she is a chain smoker.
As for George’s vile mother, her sins of the mouth are so despicable; she could fill in for Limbaugh. Among her vicious comments include not wanting to know about dead soldiers because it “clouds up her beautiful mind”, disparaging the Katrina survivors as being just as well off in the feces filled Superdome as in their home because they are poor, and telling her soon to be ex-daughter-in-law to seek financial aid from her own mother, and that she would “take care of Neilsie”. If you are a middle aged man and your mother calls you Neilsie, you have problems above and beyond divorce.
Limbaugh the Drug Czar
Who better to represent the GOP Family Values than a man with three failed marriages, a man who bullied his housekeeper into scoring illicit drugs, a man who met his last wife on the internet, a—ahem—aerobics instructor—and a man who thought a senate candidate was Black because his first name was Sherrod? One day, when Limbaugh has a heart attack or a stroke and is immobilized in the hospital, I hope no one takes the opportunity to satirize him as he lays dying as he did to Michael J. Fox.
Another Jerk Named George
Let me not talk about George Allen being an idiot, a racist, a phony, and a dupe.
What I want to know is why does a guy raised in Palos Verdes, California and Northern Virginia greet people with “Hi Y’all”? It’s like a man with a Tunisian mother saying he never heard of the word macaca. Gee!

November 2006

November 26th, 2006
What is it Good For?

We have to stop declaring war, and not just in Iraq. Every time we want to stop something, we declare war on it. Poverty, dirty air, drugs, Paris Hilton, or terrorism, no matter, we go to war. Not only do we go to war, we appoint a czar to lead the war. We have had energy czars, drug czars, poverty czars, all kinds of czars. One would think that the leader of a program in a democracy would not take the title of a leader in a failed political system, but no matter. These are the same government stooges who declared ketchup a vegetable, so you cannot be disappointed in a donkey when it doesn’t bray on key, it is a donkey.
These czars have no idea what they are doing (so they could really be czars). They ride in to D.C., talk a lot of smack, and then ride off, declaring victory. The best example is William Bennett of “if we aborted Black fetuses there would be a drop in crime” fame. This stooge with portfolio was appointed drug czar by Poppy Bush. He did nothing, and I mean nothing, to stem the flow of drugs into our communities. This is a guy who rails against big government, unless he is getting a paycheck. He was followed some time later by General Barry McCaffrey. If a general becomes a czar, is it a promotion? He also did nothing to end drug usage in America. However, drug usage did decline, but it had little to do with the czars. It had more to do with a generation of youth who watched the destruction of those who preceded them, and decided to decline that hell.
What the government will never admit, never realize, and never accept is that the war is over. The government has lost the war, and will never win it. Why? People like to get high, that’s why. From wine in the Bible to bongs in Battery Park, folks have always tried to alter their consciousness. It has never ceased, it will never cease. Jail, fines, seizure of property, shootouts, nothing stops high getting.
In fact, think back to when organized crime made its first inroads into the United States came soon after religious fanatics in the halls of Congress banned booze. That’s not how you decrease drug use; this is how you do that:
1)Decriminalize it. Part of the reason for usage is the illegality. There is a mystique to doing drugs illegally, the towel at the door, the incense filling the room, all of the trappings. Keep young people out of jail for this, and the risk-reward factor abates, and with it the thrill.2)Appoint a “czar” who has used drugs and has been to jail for it. I suggest Eugene “Mercury” Morris, former All-Pro running back for the Miami Dolphins. He used cocaine, he sold cocaine, he did time for it. Now he is clean and sober and runs drug treatment centers all over the place. Who better to teach restraint, Morris, or the obese, chain smoking Bennett?
This country has a bad recent habit of extending wars beyond the point of reason. Now is the time to end that bad habit.
November 25th, 2006
Fon du Lacking
Some parents in Fond u Lac, Wisconsin want a book banned from the high school. The book is, “I know Why the Caged Bird Sings” by Maya Angelou. They want it banned because it has passages that refer to unwed pregnancy. I guess they think reading about pregnancy makes you want to become pregnant. Funny, I don’t know anyone who read “Caged” and got pregnant as a result, but maybe the cold air up there stimulates the sex drive down there.
I hope the parents win, but for my own reasons. I would make them a deal: ban any book you wish, but restrict your travel to the town limits of Fond u Lac. You are not allowed to spread your frightful ignorance outside your own bailiwick. I promise that the I.Q, of neighboring town will rise as the ignorance of these Bible zealots rises in sync.
I assume these folks thing that all that begetting in the good book was done after a decent interval following a wedding ceremony. They evidently don’t know that marriage was a land deal until a couple of centuries ago. Nah, that would be owning up to facts, and if there is one thing George Bush has taught us, reality is for those who know reality, and faith will out, and if we all click our heels together and…..
November 24th, 2006
STOP
Not one person reading this thought about Michael Richards before he went nutsin L.A. Not one person was thinking, “I wonder what happened to Michael Richardssince ‘Seinfeld’ went off the air?” Now everyone cares. They care because theythink that Michael Richards is a racist. They have no idea if he is or not. They doknow that he can say the n-word enough to knock down a career. Now it is a circus. Everyone has an opinion about Richards, from publicists to meto Jesse Jackson to Al Sharpton. That these two guys weighed on this issue is nowofficially a joke. Somebody somewhere said something about Black people, and hereride in the Two Horsemen of the Photo-op. Gloria Allred is attorney for the twomen who got slammed by Richards. She would sue herself for two minutes ofairtime on Larry King. They are now officially victims. Michael Richards calledthem names, and now they are ruined. I have heard a unique brand of racism from people defending the racially as-saulted men sitting in the comedy club. It wasn’t an all Black table, they say, therewere other ethnicities there as well. WELL!!!! That makes it all better, because youknow how loud THEY get. Other questions pop up. If Chris Rock had said what Richards said, wouldanyone have noticed? If he said it in a clowning fashion, in a child’s voice, would webe just as outraged? ARE you outraged, or do you think it is just the explosive na-ture of a man on a mental cliff? What really shows Richards to be out of touch isthat he approached Sharpton and Jackson for guidance. Next time, call RussellSimmons and Jay-Z, they still actually care.
November 21st, 2006
Not That Funny
Yes, Michael Richards went too far in his tirade at the Comedy Store. What he said was terrible, vile racist epithets, and he should apologize. He did. The fault is not Michael Richards. If you let me drive in the Indianapolis 500 and I die as a result, it is your fault for assuming I would know how to negotiate The Old Brickyard. Throughout my comedy career, many comedy club owners allowed famous performers to try standup even though they had no experience in the art. Most of the time, these performers are not ready to mount the stage and perform standup. I recall actress Sean Young bombing at Catch a Rising Star and telling a friend afterward that in a couple of weeks, she would be ready to tackle it again full time. I never saw her on a comedy stage again. Of course, the famous have a built in edge. The audience probably likes them upfront, so they are prepared to enjoy them. Even if they don’t do well, the audience is still pleased that they saw the star do anything. Stupendous eruptions like Richards’ are rare. It happened because Michael Richards had no idea to deal with hecklers. Let me first address the hecklers: you are idiots. You are in a comedy club where people did not pay one dime to hear you talk. No one cares about you. Shut up and watch the show. If you cannot do that, then you are imbeciles, and should not go out anymore. However, you were dealt with badly. Here’s how you should have been dealt with:1) The comic should continue with his monologue and stare at you until you get the hint.2) If that doesn’t work, during a laugh, ask them quietly to keep it down.3) If that doesn’t work, ask a seater or usher to quiet them down. Michael Richards didn’t know any of these steps. Why? He’s not a comedian, that’s why. He was racially denigrating people who as a group did not watch “Seinfeld”. They could not care less about him (although they did know that he hasn’t had any success save for “Seinfeld”). If conservatives can forgive Trent Lott and George Allen, they damn sure can let this go.
November 20th, 2006
Tough Crowd
Tough CrowdGeorge Bush is in Indonesia, where he is going to be booed like Kevin Federline at a Parents without Partners meeting. It is part of his “I’ve Got Nothing to do but Travel” tour, where the Commander in Chief will don outfits that are sure to put him at the top of the Daily Show picture insets. I saw him in one particularly fetching flower print silk button down that was the envy of everyone auditioning for “Flower Drum Song Goes Drag”.
Things sure have changed for Presidents of the United States. There was a time when no matter where he appeared, the President was greeted by little girls with flowers, and the other ninety-nine per cent of the population was jailed.
He’d sit with the president or prime minister of some repressive little country for a photo op, ask him if we could rip off his natural resources, and sneak off for a quick round of back nine and nosh. Those days have vanished.
Thanks to the fact we are declaring the worst war in our history, and thanks to the fact that Indonesia is all Muslim all the time, Bush will get a reception reserved for convicted murderers from the victim’s survivors.
Then he and the Mrs. Fly home to a day of deciding which judge he will not see sworn in first.
November 16th, 2006
Your “Want To”
Your ‘Want To’
I never forget that Al Gore won the popular vote. I never forget that Al Gore was ripped off. I never forgot that Ralph Nader is a self-seeking ideologue. I also never forget that the Democrats do not have the instinctive desire to attack and destroy that the Republicans do. You never see attack ads like the GOP perpetrates. I see no ads about W’s whereabouts during National Guard duty. I see no ads about how Ken Lay is nowhere close to being investigated. I see no ads about anything negative about George Bush. I didn’t see them in 2000, and I didn’t see them in 2004. What we have are the same ‘geniuses’ who piloted the Democrats to a losing off year election. What we see are hand wringing whiners who come from the high school debate club running against the GOP high school jocks who win by grabbing your throat until you decided to breathe and vote.
While Democrats complain about the dirty tactics of the right, the right is getting sworn into the offices they have won. I am watching a recreation of 1972, and it is not because Dean is the new McGovern. It is because the Democrats are tearing each other apart instead of having the good sense to step aside and let those in a position to win fight it out. Hooray for Kucinich, he has good ideas. Does anyone reading this think he can beat George Bush? Do you think Moseley-Braun or Al Sharpton can win in November? Have Joe Lieberman’s supporters stopped to think that if you are more like Zell Miller than Nancy Pelosi you will not win in ten months?
By the way, why don’t the Dems respond to charges against McGovern this way: George McGovern flew fifty-one missions in WWII, almost twice as many as the president’s father? We know that W can sit in a jet while someone else lands it and parade around in a flight uniform, but how many missions did HE fly in Vietnam?
I can see a tragic scenario where the losers in the Democratic primaries lick their wounds and don’t campaign for the nominee. This will bring us judges who will destroy affirmative action, public education, rights of the disenfranchised and reproductive rights for all women. There is already brain damaging mercury being brought into the water, and what do we have for opposition to George Bush? Susan Sarandon telling the press she “hates” Hillary Clinton. We have Michael Moore, who supported Nader in 2000, cheerleading for Clark now that he realizes his mistake. Take a deep breath and look at the GOP. Even those in that party who cannot stand Bush remain silent. Why? They know it is more important to win than to make your feelings known. Your feelings are an extension of your ego, and ego is not going to feed or employ or protect Americans. If you want to be a dissident, be a dissident to Bush, not to those with whom you might disagree on a few issues. Keep your eyes on the prize. If the Democrats lose in 2004, the damage done will be felt for decades by people who do not have the privilege of a microphone in their faces for the world to hear their opinions. If you don’t want to help defeat the GOP, then take a vacation or make a movie, but keep your precious words inside.
When I was a kid, a salesman told me the motto of every good pitchman is ‘How Big is Your Want To?’ How great is your desire to win this. The size of the Democratic Party’s desire is not big enough and won’t be until they respond to a punch in the mouth with a kick to a more sensitive area.
November 12th, 2006
Shut Up and Pray
The frightfully despicable Laura Ingraham wrote a book entitled “Shut Up and Sing”, a book which scolded entertainers about their speaking out over their political leanings. Isn’t it wonderful when a woman from a wealthy Connecticut suburb rages over elites? Isn’t it great when a woman with a gay brother speaks out against “sodomites”? Don’t you love it when she tells liberal entertainers to shut up but enocurages open mouths for Charlie Daniels and Toby Keith and Bruce Willis and Patricia Heaton and Drew Carey?
Isn’t it delicious when she rages against lawbreakers, yet forgets that I was there when she encouraged the assassination of a sitting president (more about that in my next blog)? Nothing could be more engrossing than a single woman in her forties protesting gays—or anybody— getting married. Monica Crowley, Laura Ingraham, and Ann Coulter, all three blonde, all three conservative, all three unmarried. If they were ugly, Ken Mehlman would pay them to be Democrats (or grab a few makeup tips).
November 12th, 2006
Thirty-One and Falling
The approval rate for W is 31%, and will it go up? It’s not likely, given his history as an adult.
His father’s friends secured Bush a passel of oil leases, and his level of failure is legendary in the fields of Texas.
Then some of Dad’s friends fronted money to buy a big chunk of the Texas Rangers baseball team, and Bush’s claim to fame is trading futrue MVP Sammy Sosa.
That’s right, he tries it, it doesn’t work out, he ditches it. He gets away with murder every step of the way. His father (again with him!) plants W in an Air Force reserve unit of future idolators, he goes missing for a year, there is no trace of a physical, and he is ordered to stop flying. No one protests because W’s absence in the skies over Viet Nam probably saved American lives.
Well, this time the check has arrived and no one is reaching for their wallet,George, so pay up. You could actually do us all a favor and let the Democrats run things, they’ll get us back on our feet, and then during this time, you’ll be able to fade into the backdrop, a fade you so richly merit.
November 11th, 2006

Hillary Clinton will be the next President of the United States if she heeds these three rules:
1)Make sure everyone who speaks on behalf of you clears it with you before they create a slogan for the opposition (”I voted for the war…”). Stay above the fray, but when you do speak, speak honestly,frankly,sincerely,and most of all, interestingly.
2)It is not a negative to tell the truth about a candidate (Giuliani’s race baiting, McCain is a far right winger). One hard hitting HONEST ad, and that candidate spends all of their time refuting it.
3)YOU must define the issues. If you create the arena,then all of the other candidates must come to you to debate the issues,and that strengthens you. If you ask John McCain why he defended Bush, a man whose campaign called his wife a drug addict, it is fair game.
If you challenge St. Giuliani on his activities during and around 9/11, (adultery,using the police to bodyguard his lady friend,promoting the career of Bernard Kerik) you will see the side of Giuliani New Yorkers have seen,and he will be history.

You’re welcome.
November 8th, 2006
After the Fall
Well, the election is over, and the people have told George Bush he is not a good president. This game of politics was not local, it was international.
Harry Reid is majority leader because of dead men and women of U.S. citizenry in Iraq. Joe Lieberman had to run as an independent because he supported the war that killed them. Rick Santorum will be home schooling his kids because he refused to budge off of his war stance.
Oh, sure,there are other factors that led up to the GOP ouster. Limbaugh making fun of people with life threatening diseases kicked Jim Talent out of office. Hastert pretending no one told him that Mark Foley was a sad lonely closeted gay person delivered seats to the Dems.
But if you take a step back, this election of ‘06 was all about voters telling George Bush that he is an incompetent, that he is a hack, and that he does not care about them.
When Bush tells voters that a man who choked his mistress in a rage is the right person for that district, you start to realize he is just a frontman, a casino greeter with a nervous tic.
People can forgive incompetence, people can overlook arrogance, but you cannot be both incompetent and arrogant and then tell people you know what is best for them. You cannot ignore what you say as if no one is listening. When you hold off on firing the wretched Rumsfeld because it is bad for the GOP, and do not realize that keeping him was bad for the GOP, you are either badly advised or ignorant, or badly advised by ignorant people.
I have listened to Limbaugh and Hannity tell listeners that the GOP lost because the Dems got more voters out. Wrong!!! The GOP lost because their voters crossed over, and until the sore losers understand why, this pattern will not end.
To show what I mean, try this experiment. The next time a conservative grimaces at the mention of Hillary Clinton’s name, ask them why they do so. I will bet they cannot come up with a real answer (”she gives me the willies” is not a real answer). They trash her, the Times, Schumer, and cannot tell you why. Spendthrift liberals? Bush is the one bankrupting the treasury. Effete? Bush is the one who drank and snorted his way through military service. Family values? Look at the GOP rogues gallery of bad spouses and sexual predators and try again.
I hear Mark Levin peddling the same tired them/us crap he has had his needle stuck on for years, and it is now officially boring. All of you right wing radio people better man up (you too, Ingraham) and accept defeat and grasp the reasons why you now grouse instead of doing the right thing: shut up and talk sense.

December 2006

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