October 2006

October 30th, 2006
I was just thinking…
McCain the Whore
What won’t John McCain do to get elected? What amount of dirt won’t he eat to spit it out in the White House bathroom? If someone called your spouse a drug addict, if someone intimated your adopted child was kidnapped, if someone said you betrayed your fellow POWs, would you embrace them to get elected? Then you are a whore.
I knew about McCain’s whoredom when I worked on America’s Talking, the forerunner to MSNBC. If we could not get an interviewee, if no one else was available, we could always nab McCain. On five minutes notice, he would slap on some pancake and sit in a studio for a five minute talk about anything. In the ensuing years, he has taken sides on everything from abortion to online betting. If he didn’t have an opinion, he’d invent one.
Message to Barbara and Laura: Shut up!!!
George’s wife was a librarian, so her skill lies in devolving the Dewey Decimal System. Her knowledge of stem cell research, the Iraq war, and anything else her husband has screwed up is negligible. The GOP points to out how popular she is. Who cares? Her job is to smile and not let people know she is a chain smoker.
As for George’s vile mother, her sins of the mouth are so despicable; she could fill in for Limbaugh. Among her vicious comments include not wanting to know about dead soldiers because it “clouds up her beautiful mind”, disparaging the Katrina survivors as being just as well off in the feces filled Superdome as in their home because they are poor, and telling her soon to be ex-daughter-in-law to seek financial aid from her own mother, and that she would “take care of Neilsie”. If you are a middle aged man and your mother calls you Neilsie, you have problems above and beyond divorce.
Limbaugh the Drug Czar
Who better to represent the GOP Family Values than a man with three failed marriages, a man who bullied his housekeeper into scoring illicit drugs, a man who met his last wife on the internet, a—ahem—aerobics instructor—and a man who thought a senate candidate was Black because his first name was Sherrod? One day, when Limbaugh has a heart attack or a stroke and is immobilized in the hospital, I hope no one takes the opportunity to satirize him as he lays dying as he did to Michael J. Fox.
Another Jerk Named George
Let me not talk about George Allen being an idiot, a racist, a phony, and a dupe.
What I want to know is why does a guy raised in Palos Verdes, California and Northern Virginia greet people with “Hi Y’all”? It’s like a man with a Tunisian mother saying he never heard of the word macaca. Gee!